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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry

This is the kind of storyline Jerry Springer would love to get a hold of...

Genesis 29
Laban pulls a fast one and gives his oldest daughter to Jacob. They must have kept it dark in that honeymoon suite. Seven years he worked for Laban and the old boy tricks him into "marrying" the lesser of his two daughters. Jacob, upset but not fazed, agrees to work another seven years for the girl he thought he was marrying, Rachel. Laban agrees and gives Rachel to Jacob. But Jacob favored Rachel (no kidding) and hated Leah, so God decides to give Leah children and make Rachel barren.

Genesis 30
This is where it gets ugly. Leah is having kids left and right, but it doesn't endear Jacob to her. Rachel is tired of waiting so she gives her maidservant (Bilhah) to Jacob so she can be a mother through her. Meanwhile Leah becomes barren and gives her maidservant (Zilpah) to Jacob. Then some mandrakes exchange hands and Leah is able to have children again. Then God remembers Rachel and she is able to have children of her own.

I need a flow chart. That's four mothers and 12 kids.

Rachel gives birth to Joseph, one of the great figures of the Old Testament. You know, the kid with the fancy coat who is sold into slavery by his conniving older brothers. Is it any wonder they didn't get along?

What can we learn from our friend Jacob? I think the main take away her is that having kids doesn't solve your marital troubles. As if it wasn't complicated enough being married to sisters, neither wife is happy. Leah because she is not loved by her husband and Rachel because she can't have children. I think a lot of people believe having kids will cement their relationship with their spouse, but a home where mom and dad don't get along and don't really love each other is never healthy for raising children.

Jacob's passivity is showing again here. He seems to be the pawn in this game of chess between these sisters. Surely he knows what is going on. Why doesn't he do something about it?

Tell me...
How has fatherhood changed your relationship to your wife?
Do you wish you had done anything differently before having kids? That is, was your marriage solid enough before you added the stress of raising children?

2 comments:

  1. Dude, I've been a father for almost 16 years. My relationship with my wife has changed four different ways since then. But, immediately upon becoming a father, I would say that we became closer because we were basically less social than before. However, familyhood also was a notable financial strain, which put a big strain on the marriage.

    So, to your second question, we were not in a good financial position when we had our kids. And, although I grew up in the church, the concept of tending to the income first, then the family (Prov 24:27) was one I didn't hear until later.

    On the good side, we had learned some good things about communication that served us well.

    Now, if you think this is Jerry Springer material, wait until you get to (a) Shechem (ch. 34), and (b) Tamar (ch. 38).

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's tough to balance raising children with, well, all the other stuff that is required of contributing adult.

    ReplyDelete

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Someone Famous Once Said...


"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated,
let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does
in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right."

-- Bill Cosby