Postpartum Depression for Dads? Com'n Man!

Heard about this article in Newsweek on talk radio the other day. Just had to look it up and read it for myself.

It's written by Joel Schwartzberg, a columnist and PBS producer. He writes of his struggles as a new dad. Please, read it for yourself then see if you share the same reaction.

Basically he takes about 800 words to say he's selfish.

"When a child was added to my life, it was as if something enormous and coveted was subtracted in return, and the transaction left me reeling, like someone who'd just gambled away his soul."

"...not 48 hours after we returned home with our boy, a truth dawned on me with shocking force: my life was gone. Movies, sleeping, long showers—all gone. We became slaves to this tiny new thing living in our home, and there was no going back."

You learn that a few visits to a psychotherapist helped him discover that what he was actually dealing with was male postpartum depression. SERIOUSLY?!?!? Since when did men experience hormonal and physiological changes after NOT carrying a baby in their bodies for 40 weeks that led to uncontrollable depression as Schwartzberg describes?

As you read further you learn that his wife calls him out.

"My wife seemed to consider me selfish and irresponsible. She was tired, she'd say, of parenting both of us. Even when the bickering ended, the wounds never healed. Our marriage took a fatal hit."

Okay, timeout here. Your wife takes priority over everything. If you can't get your marriage straight, you ain't gonna get parenting straight. That's the struggle any new dad can attest to. Your family is growing and the newest member requires constant attention, so how do you maintain your relationship with your wife? Being just as needy as the newborn yourself won't do it.

In the end the writer comes around and realizes his son needed him all along. Took him nine years to realize it! But the sad part is he just dismisses the whole affair by claiming to simply have been a "lost" father.

Now, as a father to a 16-month-old son, I can relate to some of the writers feelings. Late night feedings and sleep deprivation, the constantly dirty and wet diapers, spit up covering every horizontal surface, a house that isn't always as tidy as it once was, etc. These things can wear on you and cause frustration and fatigue, but there's a name for it. It's called parenthood. It's not postpartum depression! It's called fatherhood, which means you now have a responsibility not only to your wife, but also to your son.

So, as you can see I'm a bit fired up by this article. What are your thoughts? Can you relate to the writer? How did you handle the transition to fatherhood?

What kind of survivor are you?

I've quickly become hooked on The Glenn Beck Show on Fox News. I've set my DVR to record it everyday. He's on at 5:00 p.m. here. If you haven't seen him yet, check him out. He's honest, sometimes blunt, and often times funny. I think if I had a news/political commentary show it'd be just like The Glenn Beck Show.

Anyway, enough of that. Last Friday he had Ben Sherwood on who wrote "The Survivors Club: The Secrets and Science that Could Save Your Life." Beck was considering some worst case scenario possibilities with all the strife that is developing in our country. He took a what if approach rather than the Chicken Little angle. Very interesting.

Sherwood has a quiz you can take to determine what kind of survivor you are. Everyone will fit into one of his five categories. Check it out. I'm a realist. What are you?

My Post Election Prayer

Dear God,

I woke up today with a strange feeling. I felt disappointed in America, but reassured by my Creator. While the outcome of yesterday's election was not what I was hoping and praying for, I know that ultimately it was in your plan.

My head is somewhat fearful of what Barack Obama will do as president and where he will lead this country, but my heart is content, knowing that you are a big God. As my wife was so quick to put out, Paul told us in Romans 13, "Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment."

So today my prayer is for Barack Obama, that you will guide him as he leads this country. Qualifications, policies and speeches aside, he will be my president. So help me to remember him in prayer.

Thank you, Father, for the democractic process. I pray that we as citizens remained engaged and informed, holding the government responsible for the actions it takes and decisions it makes.

Keep our country safe in the next year. It is my belief and fear that we will be targeted, as we have been in the first year of past president's terms. Protect me and my family. I want only to fear you, God, not man.

In Jesus Name, Amen

2008 Elections P & F: Day 4

Dear God,

After months and months of campaigning election day is finally here. Millions of dollars have been spent and countless speeches have been delivered. We've heard every candidates take in every election. Now it's up to us to decide our countries future. Help us to choose wisely.

Father, I pray for calm weather across the country so every voter is able to safely get out and vote. I pray for short lines so no one is turned away at the end of the day. I pray that supporters from all parties follow the law and respect voters from other parties. I pray that in the end the election results will come quickly and be indisputable.

God, you know our hearts. All we ask for in this final day is the best for our country. You know the outcome and you know what befalls our country. My prayer is that we elect John McCain. Though I will continue to lean on you and I admittedly haven't always done that as I should, I am fearful of the prospects of an Obama presidency. I am fearful that we would elect someone with such a sketchy past, with such out-of-touch views and proposals, with such radically unAmerican friends. It truly would be a new day in American history--one I'd rather not have to live through.

So again, we give it all up to you. You are our strength and our sole source of hope. You have instilled in us the wisdom to look for your Son's return and not the coming of some transformative political figure. Thank you for hearing our prayers.

God, give me strength in these final hours of fasting.

In Jesus Name, Amen

2008 Elections P & F: Day 3

Dear God,

Give me patience as I anticipate Election Night. I know that you are in control, but I want to know our country's future.

God, thank you for the circle of friends and family who have joined me in these days of prayer and fasting. What was a simple suggestion in an e-mail to my brother has become a crowd of Christians lifting our country up in prayer. That surely was not me, that was you. Continue to encourage us to pray and finish strong.

Father, give safety to those campaigning, hopping from one stop to another. Protect those working the polls as the potential for record numbers of voters is great. Keep our cities safe as election results come in.

Though the campaigns have been negative, God, I pray that the candidates are able to put their differences aside work together to bring about the most good for America and her allies. Grant the candidates patience that only you can give.

God, help us now as we live with a volatile economy, with prices soaring and confidence waning, that we are wise with the resources you've given us. Direct our governing officials as they attempt to correct the course while staying true to America's foundation as a free market.

God, in all things we thank you for the breath of life you gave us and for the chance to be called your children.

In Jesus Name, Amen

2008 Elections P & F: Day 2

Dear God,

Give us strength as we enter the second day of our fast. Help us to always remember to pray, putting you and our country first in these final days before the election.

God, I pray for those citizens who may be approaching this election with apathy. I pray that you will instill in them a desire to act, to do their part by voting. I pray also that they not only vote, but that they consider the stakes, do their research, and vote for God-fearing city council representatives, congressmen and women, senators, judges, and most of all a God-honoring president.

While some may say it's over dramatic to state this, but we know that lives are at stake. The lives of countless unborn children depend on our vote, the lives of our soldiers fighting on foreign soil depend on our vote, the lives of our allied citizens depend on our vote.

Again, we put this election in your hands, knowing that ultimately you are in control and that someday we will all answer to you.

God, I pray for the days between November 4 and January 20, that our newly elected president will choose his cabinet and advisers wisely, that he will seek your council and the council of other honorable men and women. We know that the president alone does not and cannot have all the answers, so we pray for those who will serve along side of him, that they would work hard to ensure that America's best interests are served.

I pray for unity in this country. We acknowledge that, while we have come along way in recognizing that minorities and women can and should contribute as leaders of our country, we still have a long way to go. Candidates on both sides of the spectrum have proven to be divisive individuals for their race or gender. Some citizens can't look beyond Obama's race, while others criticize Gov. Palin for being a working mother. I pray that whoever wins America continues to grow in this area.

God, forgive us for not relying on you as we should. Forgive our arrogance as we try to do it all ourselves. Forgive us for not seeking your direction first. If this election and the next four years serve as a way to bring us back to you, as our desert wandering to remind us who is in control, then so be it. But know that Godly men and women are seeking your face and we are not willing to give up on the people of this country.

God, you are too big and too great for our comprehension. We thank you for considering us and hearing our prayers.

In Jesus Name, Amen

2008 Elections P & F: Day 1

Dear God,

Thank you for the freedoms we enjoy in this country. Thank you for those who came before us who fought for the right to worship God in whatever manner we choose.

Today my prayer is that your will be done in this year's elections. We acknowledge that you know what is best for your children and that often our will for us is not the same. Please help us to always remember that you are in control in working everything out for our good.

God, I pray that this nation will seek your will before going to the polls. I pray that this nation understands the importance of this years election unlike any election in the past. Guide us as we choose our leaders. I pray also that those leaders will seek out your will for them, understanding that they have no power outside of the authority you have given them.

I pray God that as people are already voting and continue to vote through Nov 4 that the process goes smoothly and that no party, organization or person attempts to tamper with the results. Our country cannot afford a disputed election. I pray that you will grant safety and wisdom to all the election officials.

God, grant strength to those fasting during this time and hear our prayers even when we don't know what to pray.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Prayer and Fasting for the Elections

I am going to devote the final four days of this campaign season to prayer and fasting. Beginning Saturday, November 1, and continuing through Election Night I am committing to lifting this nation and our leaders in prayer. For those of you who know me well, you know that prayer is not my strength and that I never pass up a meal, so this may be difficult, but again considering what is at stake it is a small sacrifice.

Here is what I'm praying for:

• That the next president will seek the will of God and humble himself to it.
• That voters will turn out in force to support their chosen candidate. Our input, through voting, is the bedrock of democracy.
• That the voting process goes smoothly and is in the end credible.
• That America will recognize and respect our new chosen leader.
• That parties not pleased with the results of the elections will communicate their disappointment civilly.
• That those newly elected to office, whether to city, county, state, or national positions, would use their influence to act responsibly and in the best interest of their constituents.
• That God's will be done.
• Strength for those participating in this fast.

Check back tomorrow for my prayer for the day. Feel free to post your prayer in the comment section if you like.

My Bucket List

My wife and I recently rented the movie The Bucket List. It's worth a watch if you haven't seen it yet. Pretty simple plot: two guys meet in a hospital, both are only given a few months to live, so they try to accomplish a few things together in their final days.

It gets you thinking about your life and what you want to accomplish before God calls you home. So here is my bucket list. I'm sure it will see several revisions in the years to come, but here's the first draft.

My Bucket List
In no particular order

• Baptize my son.
• Take my wife on a vacation around Europe.
• Take my wife to New York City. See a show, stroll through Central Park, etc.
• See the Grand Canyon (from the ground, I've seen it from an airplane).
• See the Giant Sequoias.
• Go deep sea fishing.
• Buy a home for my family.
• Drive across the country in an RV with my family.
• Teach my son one thing he will never forget.
• Buy my grand kids an ice cream cone.
• See the Cubs play at Wrigley Field.
• See the Braves play at Turner Field.
• See the Broncos play at Mile High.
• Do something totally unexpected for someone I love.
• Build something that will outlive me.
• ...

What's on your bucket list?

More of a man than most...

... and more of a man than me.

It's not often that one will find inspiration on American Gladiators, but tonight was just one of those occasions. Season Two of the all-new American Gladiators premiered Monday night. I happened to catch the rerun tonight and I'm glad I did.


John Siciliano is an Olympic gold medalist, an American Gladiator contender and an amputee. That's right, he has one leg. The other was amputated five inches above the knee. John went against an "able-bodied" contender and hung tough through three competitions. But watching him compete in the Eliminator, Gladiators end-of-show obstacle course, was one of the most amazing displays of athletic determination I've ever seen.

Click this link to watch the full-length show. John doesn't show up until the second half, so skip ahead.

To put it simply, the Eliminator is not design for someone wearing a prosthetic leg, but that didn't seem to slow John Siciliano. It begins with about a 15-yard, underwater swim. John handled that with ease. But the swim ends when you get to 10-foot tall cargo net. That was all John's competition needed to separate him from his amputee opponent, but that didn't seem to slow John Siciliano. You see, several times John had to stop, grab his prosthetic and pull it free before continuing. Next came the tight rope, which is two ropes suspended across a span, one above the other. Since his prosthetic foot is not designed to grip, John has to hang on to the top rope for dear life while slowly shuffling his feet. But that didn't seem to slow John Siciliano. He handled the hand bike as well as any others. His trip down the rolling barrel ended with a crash but he jumped right up and bounded up the pyramid. After taking the zip line down he had to figure out how to handle the teeter totter. He chose to crawl across it. While the other contenders run across the teeter totter, John's only option was to tackle in a manner you would expect from a four year old, but that didn't seem to slow John Siciliano. Finally, he came to the the Travelator, a treadmill style ramp. It eats most contenders for lunch, requiring sometimes five attempts. John handled it in three. Nothing could slow down John Siciliano.

My words don't do it justice. You have to see it for yourself.


It's human nature to take the easy road. John could have decided 15 years ago, after losing his leg, that he would not compete in an athletic competition again. That would have been the easy choice and no one would have blamed him for making it. But he didn't and he went on to win a gold medal in the Para-Olympics.

John Siciliano, I don't hold a candle to your determination.

How much time to you have to give?

I had one of those days yesterday. You know, one of those days where you feel like you could be doing so much more. Not that you don't work hard at what you do or that your job is holding you back, but that you should be accomplishing more with your time here on earth.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I work at a church and churches are about saving souls. That's what we do, or should do. My job is a behind-the-scenes kind of role, which doesn't bother me a bit. But it means that at times I feel like I'm not actively doing my part to fulfill the Great Commission.

I was reading a publication produced by my church's fellowship. It gave a report of how we (meaning all the large churches in our fellowship) were doing. You know, the ratio of baptisms for every 100 members, rate of attendance increase, that sort of stuff. My church is doing a good job, but others are doing better. I was encouraged and challenge at the same time.

"We have to step up our game," I thought. "I have to step up my game."

Then I watched an awkward little videocast on the web of Rick Warren talking to a meeting room full of people. That guy knows his stuff when it comes to what a church needs to be about. He was talking about how churches need to move people from "Come and see Jesus" to "Go and be Jesus." Warren said he wants to help bring about the second reformation of the Church. It will take 50 years he said. He figures he has 20 years left to give to that reformation. I was encouraged and challenge at the same time.

"We have to step up our game," I thought. "I have to step up my game."

So I'm a bit fired up and contemplating what I can do in my role at my church to move the needle on those numbers and to help move people towards "being Jesus."

I have 50 years left to give.

Is Everybody Okay?

Earthquakes rocked Louisville today!

At 5:37 a.m. an earthquake ripped through the Midwest leaving the area riddled with gaping chasms and crumbled structures. Homes were split in two, children were separated from their parents, beloved pets were separated from their chew toys. And no one saw it coming.

The quake registered 5.2 on the Richter Scale. 5.2! That's like twice as bad as a 2.6!

And I, being the protector of my family, guided them through the disaster by reassuring them of their safety. How did I do this, you ask? By remaining sound asleep through the whole ordeal.

My wife, the California native, woke up, realized we must have just had an earthquake, listened to see if Ethan was crying and quickly returned fast asleep. Thanks for your concern, honey.